Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World - A Stupid Review

I have just gotten home from seeing the aforementioned Scott Pilgrim Vs. The world.

It may very well be my new favourite movie.

When you sit down, with your ginormous coke and supposedly people sized popcorn, and the lights dim and the Universal Studio logo shows up, accompanied by it's trademark sound beautifully rendered into the classic 16-bit audio...well, you know you're in for something pretty special.

This is a movie that caters specifically to the humor of gamers and geeks alike, while being clever enough that it does not excluse viewers outside of this niche.

It combines humor borderlining on the ridiculous, comparing to movies like Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Anchorman, while still maintaining an indie feel.

The soundtrack is unforgettable, featuring indie/alternative music from the in-movie band, the Love Bob-Ombs and their rivals in various stages of Battle of the Bands and should definitely be made available for purchase for the pleasure of my ears.

The fact that it is also based on the series of graphic novels (which are awesome) by Bryan Lee O'Malley is all the more reason to watch it (and then read the graphic novels. Or vice versa. Whatever works for you).

On the Sarah-Scale-of-Epic, I give it four and a half hearts out of five.

Evil Hot Cheese

It started out as your normal 12:45 lunch. All I had was bread, vegemite and cheese...obviously now I know that they are the tools of Satan! Here is my story. 

So I toast my bread, take it out of the toaster, put some vegemite and cheese on a slice of bread and whack it in the toaster oven for a few mins...a few mins turned into a few more mins...I poked at the cheese a couple of times...see I thought I was just taking out the bubbles.....clearly I was only stirring the beast within the cheese. I take it out of the toaster oven and eat. 

 BUT WHATS THIS?? Evil Hot Cheese doesnt want to be consumed into my mouth, follow the enchantment lane of my swallow area and into the sweet pools of stomach acid?? Out of no where....Evil Hot Cheese decides to envoke his Super Mega Powers he clearly got from the Kraft Factory. 

With his Super Mega Powers initiated I was helpless. The cheese took one look at my tongue and chose it as its sacrifice to the Hot Cheese Gods. It lays its creamy rich, yet only 2% fat content body on my tongue like a blanket of fire.

My brain says "Wooo wait, we're getting a message from the tongue!" 
A hush falls over the rest of my brain...silence....and then....
"FFFUUUUCCCCKKK...WTF!?......I'M ON FIRE!"


For some reason my brain told my tongue that it would be ok and then like a jerk sent massive amounts of burn pain to my tongue...**THANKS BRAIN!
This is a almost 100% accurate picture of what my tongue looked like.

Clearly there is no known cure for a burnt tongue by the Evil Hot Cheese but all I could do was the most obvious and clear remedy..... 

Unfortunately my tongue didn't make it through the night. I feel like it had more to do with the fact that Liv Tyler was in the room and wouldn't leave. Fucking Liv Tyler!

Necklace of the FUTURE!

Its so simple....its been starring us all in the face this whole time! Can you guess what it is? "SHUT UP LOUISE" I hear you say....Nooooo but close! Think again.........Yeap...of course it is! 

Its the shoelace.....necklace!

A hobo at the TAB was wearing one around his neck today. I starred at it thinking it might have keys attached or something he might not want to lose. But no....its just a shoelace necklace. 

Whats even more innovative about this accessory is that you can tie two shoe laces together and make an even longer necklace! =O

Gone are the days of using it for tying up your shoes! Pfftttt! DONT BE LAME! Get some of those awesome velcro shoes, rip out your old shoelaces and give them a new lease on life as the necklace of the future! 


Of course it doesnt just have to be a necklace, no no, this can be so much more! 

The obvious being that if you get the whim to hang yourself cause your having a bad day at work, an awkward moment with a stranger or just another one of those phone calls from your parents to remind you of your constant disappointment to them then grab your trusty shoelace necklace, hoist it over any sturdy beam and TA DA! The sweet relief of death.

Another option...your in the bush, walking around with friends and family. =O all of a sudden Nanna gets biten by a venemous snake!! NANNA NOOOOO! QUICK! GRAB YOUR HANDY SHOELACE NECKLACE! Tie it around her leg and suck nannas leg harder then you have previously .......crisis averted and nanna lives to bake another pavlova!


Other uses for the Shoelace Necklace: walking the dog, tying your arm to find that mischievous vein to shoot up, strangling pesky neighbours, assisting in the arrest of a known drug lord, decorating the christmas tree and finding osama bin laden and his weapons of mass destruction. 

ITS THE NEXT BIG OBSESSION - SHOELACE NECKLACE. 

ACCEPT IT OR DIE!!

Adventures of Bill

BILL - He gets up to all kinds of crazy!

So the other day I was at work and I thought, how can time be made to go faster with only using the things that I have surrounding me? Clearly the major thing I work with all day is old, smelly men who like to gamble. At first I thought about building a tower of old men, surely no one has done that yet....OR BETTER YET.....a tower of old men who are naked! That just reminded me of the southpark episode so I decided to go to the next possible idea and that was the stacks on money I have around me. A stack of $100 bills looked at me and started to nod at me "Do it Louise!.....Make hilarious photos of me doing stupid things!!" .......I agreed. Enjoy. 

Listening to Sexy Bitch on the iPod

Taking a phone call

HA! Thinks its remotes!

Looking through a peep hole

Trying to pick up a bundle of $5 notes

Getting rejected..

Taking peoples bets

Getting its freak on....missionary style!

Learning how to braise pork

Trying to look smart

ORGY TIME!!

Recycling!

Getting Swept Away

Looking down on the outcasted change

Thinking, and the pain caused.

Sitting here, drinking an icy cold Strongbow and waiting for last night's dinner to re-heat in the microwave, I am realising how difficult it is to actually write a blog post that is interesting.

"Sarah," I say to myself, "You are young, creative, and have a relatively good grasp on the English language. Do something with it! Write a blog post on this shiny new blog you and Louise have started."

"..Aaaand GO!"

"..Now!"

"How about now?"

And all I can think to write is "Stuff is awesome.." and that's not even anything! What really happens is I wind up spending the rest of my night playing fucking 'Cafe World' on Facebook, or reading the incredibly addictive postings of Allie on Hyperbole and a Half, or looking up 'Iggy the iPad cat' on YouTube.

It's at about this point that my brain pipes up.

"Really, Sarah? It's come to this? Did you really need to watch that Washington video clip eight times in a row? Now it's 3am and you have nothing to show for it!"

Except that now it's 6:07pm and I did manage to write this, I guess. So sucked in, Brain!

Maybe tomorrow I'll write a video game review! Or a day by day recount of how unproductive my two weeks holiday have been!

That'll show you.

In the beginning there was..

Think of three seperate things. They can not be related in any way nor can they have any personal meaning to you. Done? Good! Now completely forget those thoughts and concentrate on this blog.

Soon there will be things on here that dont make any sense....AND NOR SHOULD THEY! No one is the sense commissioner here and if they are then...wow, cool job!
More to the point.....the ramblings of Sarah and I will be recorded here and for whatever reason, if they choose to get up, dance and make a complete idiot of themselves, clearly you should support this in any way possible.

I say Bottoms Up! and Good Day to you sir!